Why We Don’t Finish Things
(Blog post 1 of 2)
Doing Nothing
There it is again. That uncomfortable feeling. It’s like a sickness. A stillness that hurts. Has physical pain. But over time, it goes away.
Just sit back. Get on with some other things. There are dishes in the sink. Bills to pay. It was a ridiculous idea anyhow. Another ridiculous idea. In fact, you have a better idea. An easier one. One without so many obstacles. It’ll be much easier this time. And besides, who gets to do what they really want? Who actually writes a bestseller? Or creates the next big idea and executes it flawlessly? Who actually looks like those fitness people in the magazines? Certainly not real, normal people. The percentages must be low. Lower than 1% probably.
To be honest, this isn’t so bad. Netflix has that new series everyone is talking about.
The goal can wait.
I'll start when I have more energy... When I have more money... When I’m smarter... Better... I’ll grow into it... I can do it... I will do it...
And yet… nothing gets done.
You told a few people who weren’t as excited as you were. They sort of shrugged and told you politely that it’s a great idea. That you should do it. No enthusiasm though. Maybe you didn’t say it right. Not how you really meant it. You didn’t get it across how much it mattered to you. How great it would be. How great your life would be if you actually accomplished it. How the world would be better.
There is that show I can watch though. I’ll watch that Netflix show and think about it. Maybe I was wrong. I’m always wrong. But I’ll show them. I’ll show them what I’m made of... tomorrow. I’ve already used today to do not tomorrow-things, I might as well keep the same pace. I don’t want to strain myself.
A thousand tomorrows later and you’re not even an inch closer.
So, what gives?
This blog is about why we don’t finish what we start & how to finish what we start.
It’s about how to start something: a book, a workout, learning that skill. Start. Start. Starting a lot. Finishing.
First of all, who am I to write a blog about finishing?
Yes, I’m fifty-one and I look like I’m thirty...two. Yes, I’ve written and directed a movie that had theatrical release. Sure, I’ve written five novels. And I’ve logged a thousand workouts in about as many days. I surf better now than when I was twenty. I’m all that stuff, including handsome and amazing. But who am I really to be writing about finishing what we start? Well… I’m nobody. So it’s not easy venturing out into this territory. But what I am is a nobody who finishes.
It wasn’t always so.
I’ve probably written thirty or so screenplays, a few of which have been optioned. But also, I had written twenty more that I didn’t finish. Mostly because of all the reasons listed above. I was a pro at not finishing a damn thing. And when I did, not much happened. Nobody bought them. Hardly anyone read them. The people that did, didn’t have much to say. That means what I wrote sucked. Somehow though, from somewhere deep down, something told me not to give up. That this takes time. That I sucked. But that I wouldn’t suck if I kept going. Kept learning. And once I started finishing, even though a way more brilliant bestselling idea that I should have done instead floated somewhere in front of my eyes like a shiny object to a bird, I slowly began to get better. Not amazing. Not perfect. But better. Sucking a little less. Suckage decreasing.
A little better over time is a serious thing though.
It’s not just that you’re writing better, it’s that you are better. You’re someone who you weren’t when you first started. You’re a different person. You’re someone who finishes what they start.
Mental Obstacles.
Don’t be fooled, they are all mental. None. Zero. Nada, of those obstacles are real. They’re in the imagination. Technically, they’re lies.
Let’s go over a few of the common mental obstacles. I’ll debunk these mental obstacles in the next blog post.
1. It’s too big.
Yep, there it is. And you’re right. It’s way to friggin’ big. It’s so big, it’s a wonder anyone gets anything done at all. A ninety-thousand-word novel? A one-hundred-twenty-page screenplay? Losing thirty pounds? All way too big. Hell, it could take my whole life just to accomplish any one of those things, let alone all three. No chance I start something I’ll never finish. What’s the point?
2. I have a better idea.
Yeah, well, you set off with this once in a lifetime idea. Something you want to put out into the world. You feel the passion. The energy. And as it fades with the lack of progress, another “better idea” comes along. A better idea you won’t complete because of the “best idea” that’s on its way, and so on until all you have is a notebook full of "better" ideas, none of them realized.
3. I suck.
Oh, you suck. You actually really do suck.
4. I don’t have the time.
My days are full. Full to the brim of things that are real. Real and tangible and I have to get done today, or I’ll be out in the cold. I’ll die if I don’t do all these things, and so there’s no time to get to that cool stuff I really want to do. Besides, I should be responsible like THEY taught me. I got chores, people!
5. All that research.
Wow this research is fun! It’s really cool, I’m learning a lot, and it for sure needs to be done. It’s been a year of research, and there’s so much more to do. Someday I’ll get to the actual thing I want to do, but only after I exhaust that research. Read this article on the dangerous pit of excessive research and how to tell if you’re in it.
6. Comparison.
They’re so much better than me. I’m not creative. I’m not talented. I’ll never be as good as them. I don’t even know what the hell I’m doing!!! I’ve written how comparing myself to others is a funny game to me, where I look at Bradley Cooper and then myself, and then laugh, and then finish shit.
7. Honeypots.
This is a Joe Rogan special. That’s what he calls them. Love that. Yup, the honeypots. The little things that come along with more promise, more money, more security. Here’s a honeypot made especially for you, and all you have to do is abandon that dream for immediate warmth and security, and maybe a little status. Honey sure tastes good! Yum!
8. People will laugh at me.
They might. Actually, they probably will. No… they will. They’ll also talk a lot of shit about you. Say how stupid you are for trying. How you suck. How you never had a chance. Oh, they’ll say that and so much more. So so so much more, and nothing good.
With all of that against you, it’s no wonder you don’t even start.
It’s no wonder you end up that same person you were last year, or even the day before. Like I said, it’s not so bad. You’ve got a job. Maybe a house, an apartment, a place to live, some friends, a car, a bike, an electric moped, nobody is shooting at you, you’re not shooting at anybody, there’s food in the fridge and football on the telly. In fact, when you really think about your life, you got it pretty good.
The most pivotal question we can ask each of ourselves, is, “What was I born to do?”
There’s nothing else? No other reason you’re alive? Nothing in there that whispers to you at night when you go to bed after eight hours at a job you don’t even like or that doesn’t challenge you, promising that tomorrow will be better, that you can be so much more? That thing you were good at when you were a kid? I used to draw pretty good. I loved biology. I like dogs. I’ve had this idea for a movie sitting in my head for ten years…
I hate to tell you, that voice isn’t someone else. It isn’t God. It’s you.
So, what to do about it?
We'll discuss this in my next blog. In it, I will turn those puny wee little thoughts that seem like giant dragons of yor, sent to circle in a holding pattern to keep you in your safe little castle, into what they truly are: puny wee thoughts.
Read the follow-up blog post here.
Until next time,
Be marvelous.