Just above average

An average tale of me.

Most stories we read have a strong hero (females included), an anti-hero, or a fish out of water, which can also be called an average Joe…sephine?

Well, what if you don’t personally fit into any of those models? I’m certainly no hero. I may contain some anti-hero qualities, but I’m sort of empathetic and at the same time really don’t want to help people, so that may make me more anti than hero? Something like that. Anyhow…fish out of water?

I could have written Bill as an incompetent, completely un-athletic, unintelligent goof in Truncated, a post-apocalyptic survival and humorous dark-comedy fiction trilogy. But then would I believe that he could perform all of the things he was performing? Probably not.

I could have written Bill as one of these do-no-wrong perfect specimens who are ten steps ahead, and even though you thought this might be the time they meet their demise, they fool you once again. They were ten steps ahead of God, let alone you.

I wanted to see a character I hadn’t seen before. One that was sort of capable. Not really capable. But kinda. One who lacked certain qualities. But the qualities he lacks also save him from the fate that most of the world inherited. And at the same time, make him incredibly flawed. Just like the rest of us. Well at least me.

Humans, as far as I can tell, are the only creatures on the planet who don’t realize their full potential. There lies within a human being the power of creation, of change, improvement, self-reflection. You don’t see cheetahs doing laps or stretching in order to improve their run times. Or sharks swimming intervals in order to grab more seals. Or even a chimpanzee working on being a better listener so his kids respect him more.

It’s really just us that can say, “Hey, I suck at this, but I can do better—a lot better.” Can we, though, put a measurement on ourselves? Is it healthy to call oneself average or below average at something? It probably depends on how much you are affected by comparison. I’m 5’10. Average height in the world? 5’7.5. That’s right. I’m just above average.

I compare myself to people all the time. Looks? Yup. Dammit, that guy is a lot better looking than me. No wonder he gets all the ladies... Or, she’s driving a nicer car than me and she looks like she’s eighteen. Mommy and daddy probably bought it for her because they have more money than me.

In general, comparison probably isn’t that healthy. I don’t recommend it. People are suffering all over the world...looking at what other people are doing, what they have that they don’t, wishing they were somewhere other than where they were, or worse, wishing they were someone else. It can mess with your head.

Unless you’re me.

Comparing myself to others is a funny game to me. Maybe because it’s a game where I lose most of the time so I’m used to it. Bradley Cooper? Good looking. Great actor. Hot women. Money… and he can sing too? Asshole.

My point is, I didn’t want to see another Bradly Cooper character running around in my book. And I didn’t want to see an inept at getting laid, Steve Carell. I wanted someone in between. Someone who would be born out of that union could Bradly Cooper and Steve Carell have a baby. A guy who had a lot, but not quite enough. Someone who was almost cool, but would also never be as cool as a real hero, like Jason Bourne or James Bond. I wanted someone who got lucky and knew it. Someone who compared himself to the James Bonds and Jason Bournes of the world and found himself coming up short. 

I wanted someone like me, because I’m no Bradley Cooper, and I’m not Steve Carell either. I'm semi-competent and decent looking. I’m just above average!!! 

Own that shit. 

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Read Truncated: Apocalyptic and Loving It. a hilarious adventure and survival fiction novel following just above average guy, Bill, as he shoots his way through the apocalypse. Truncated III: Born Against to be released December 15th, 2020.